For an idea as to what we’re doing here, refer back to the introduction for more details.
So we’re jumping into the second season, and you should have an idea as to what that means: we’re starting from the worst and moving up to the best, in groups of two, until we get to the end of the season. The second season of ERB was a weird one, in that on one hand, there were a few really classic and really awful pieces to come out of it, but on the other hand, there was just so much nothing in the middle that it’s hard to really appreciate it as a season. A big part of that, I think, comes from the transition from “a thing two dudes and some guest stars are doing for fun” to “a thing people actually pay attention to on the internet,” as there’s actual big money involved now most likely, and there was probably a lot of confusion in how to properly handle that. This season is also especially long, clocking in at a whopping eighteen battle raps, which just seems like an easy recipe for burnout. Thankfully the team has since condensed seasons down to twelve episodes each, so that’ll make further recaps easier to deal with, but goddamn this is going to be a rough recap set, more or less.
Anyway let’s get started with the bottom two and move on from there:
Adam vs Eve:
1.) ERB has never invited Jenna Marbles back to perform in a battle rap since.
2.) I’m not in a relationship that’s so infuriating that I’d find anything about this to be redeeming.
Jesus fucking Christ.
The beat overpowers literally everything else going on here, to the point that it’s actively annoying and catchy in the worst way possible. The whole thing is just embarrassing as a concept, and I don’t care how well you thought it’d translate to the screen, it doesn’t. Lloyd is aggressively fine here, but even his best work wouldn’t be able to counteract the aggressively painful gimmick, and the fact that he’s working opposite someone who should not ever be rapping in Jenna Marbles is just not great all around. Nothing against Jenna herself, she’s fine at her comedy, but out of all of the Youtube “celebrities” ERB has brought in, the only one who’s done anything good here is Ray William Johnson (which is probably why he’s the only one who’s been in more than one video).
As an experiment it’s certainly a learning experience, and as a product it’s kind of an entertaining train wreck, but no. Never this, never again.
Master Chief vs Leonidas:
Peter does… okay as Master Chief, in that the voice he affects here is fine, and he has a couple of decent lines. Lloyd dancing around in the background in a loincloth is funny for a couple seconds. The concept is fine.
You’d think two guys who’re both well-recognized warriors, both called Spartans, and both big amongst the nerd crowd would have more to rap about against one another, but nope. The entire battle comes down to Leonidas rapping about how Master Chief’s fans are losers, how ripped up he is, and 300 quotes, and Master Chief rapping about his game, how Leonidas is gay, how Master Chief fucked Leonidas’ wife, and… uh, 300 quotes. The two essentially have nothing to rap about, and it’s just a lot of masculinity being tossed around for three minutes until it limps to the finish.
Also, how bad was the guy playing Leonidas at rapping that you brought him in to look like Leonidas but had Lloyd record his raps, but let Jenna Marbles rap for herself? Because goddamn if he’s that bad, fuck me, that’s just a shame. This, by the way, was another Youtube “celebrity” they invited in for a one-and-done, and hopefully it was a lesson to everyone involved to not do it again.