For an idea as to what we’re doing here, refer back to the introduction for more details.
Well we missed a day due to feeling a bit under the weather (I had a tooth extracted) but we’re back and ready for more… meh with the middle-of-the-road ERB releases. These next two, honestly, may be the source of a bit of contention, which is wholly understandable; they both have good points that could carry them fairly high up into the list if you’re the sort of person who thinks highly of the good points they have. Since this is mostly a technical evaluation of the performances, though, they end up a bit lower on the list; while my nerd instincts would want me to elevate at least one of them higher than it is, it’s… not great. Let’s get going:
Steve Jobs vs Bill Gates
Well, Peter looks close enough to Steve Jobs, and Lloyd dressed up well enough as Gates, that this came off fairly well visually. Peter also went in doing his normal voice, and generally got his point across pretty well, and both rappers had some fairly nice burns to get across. Also, the HAL 9000 bit at the end is cute, and as a concept it’s interesting enough that you could say, “Oh, sure, fine, that’s cute and I can see why they did that.”
Let’s just get the hyper nerdy shit out of the way:
1.) HAL 9000 as a character was invented years before Linux even existed, and if we want to be technical, before Unix was invented as well.
2.) You couldn’t have thrown a little cameo to Linus Torvalds, the guy who invented Linux?
3.) Yes, Steve Jobs abused a lot of Steve Wozniak’s early work to get where he did (also, you mentioned Wozniak and not Torvalds what the fuck) but he also basically ripped off the Mac OS from Xerox, so.
4.) Basically everything Steve Jobs’ character said in the point/counterpoint part was complete fucking bullshit.
Okay, for the rest of you, welcome back. So first off, THIS is what Bill Gates sounds like, not the “Revenge of the Nerds stereotype voice” Lloyd was doing, and I found that in thirty seconds on Youtube, come the fuck on. Second, Gates’ extended final rap sequence was windy, generally inaccurate relative to Gates’ position in life, and not especially interesting as anything but a lead-in to the HAL 9000 part. Also, finally, having a computerized voice rap was funny when it was autotuned; when it’s just a computer talking about weird tech stuff, it’s odd and doesn’t help much.
Moses vs Santa Claus
Snoop Dog (well, Snoop Lion here, but he’s back to Dog now) basically kills it here, and it’s amazing how powerful a man with such a small frame can be, because he carries this whole battle rap, single-handedly. There’s literally no other way to say it: Snoop, regardless of any issues you might have with him as a person or what you might think of him, is a rap god, full stop, and he essentially puts in one of the best performances ERB’s ever seen, period.
Of course, he’s rapping against Peter doing his weird deep voice and Lloyd using high-pitched voice effects, so it’s not like Snoop had anything to work with on the opposing side. Some day, someone will explain to Peter and Lloyd that those effects sound corny as hell and do nothing for their raps, but it hasn’t happened yet, and I don’t expect it will anytime soon, sadly (though Season 4 has, so far, gotten to the halfway mark without a single appearance, so perhaps Zack Sherwin is doing the Lord’s work).
Outside of that, hearing Snoop use the term “dummy” in a rap, even if it fit rhyme-wise, was weird as hell, given his normal lyrical content; it doesn’t really detract much, but it’s disconcerting in the same way it would be (one supposes) to hear mid nineties Bill Hicks or Dennis Leary call someone “dummy”.