(Not So) Random Song of the Day – ERB Edition – Part Thirteen

For an idea as to what we’re doing here, refer back to the introduction for more details.

Our two this time around are generally decent, actually, but are hampered by one performer doing something… odd; they aren’t hurt as much as some battle raps, where one performer sucks and the other can’t carry the weight, so much as this is a case of one person doing something they probably thought was great (and wasn’t), while the other performer does the Lord’s work to carry them through it. This is, truly, a case where two (or three) performers do the work of four (or six), and while it’s not enough to carry them out of the middle of the pack, it’s enough to deserve recognition at least.

Nikola Tesla vs Thomas Edison

The Positive:

Dante Cimadamore absolutely looks the part as Tesla, and while the Leonidas dub didn’t go particularly well, this time around things work much better with Peter working as Tesla’s voice. The two manage to put together what is effectively half of an awesome battle rap, as Peter manages to pull off a vocal style that works here, and Dante does the theatrical presentation side of things quite nicely. The aesthetics of the battle rap are also fine, and Lloyd looks about as much like Thomas Edison as one could reasonably expect, all in all.

The Negative:

Lloyd, on the other hand, is rocking a super old man voice here, and even if it’s fitting, it’s not… great. Also, this is yet another face/heel battle, as we’re clearly meant to root for Tesla, between his assertion that he wanted to make power free and Edison’s clear admissions of stealing from Tesla (and others) because it made a buck. It’s obvious Edison’s the bad guy here, which would be fine if it were paired with a powerful battle rap, and the weird vocal style would’ve been fine if it’d been paired with an even handed battle. Instead, Edison’s basically shitting the bed while Tesla wins in a walk; it’s a talented walk, but even so.

Batman vs Sherlock Holmes

The Positive:

Zach Sherwin and Kyle Mooney basically kill it here as Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson; they work quite well together (and I’m surprised Mooney hasn’t come back for a second battle), and their battle raps in the first verse are pretty solid. The second round, featuring a Holmes-esque (modern, of course) breakdown of what’s about to happen before it does, is also inventive and fits the character rather well, all told. Peter also does… fine as Batman, and gets in a couple good hits toward Sherlock that would’ve resonated under normal circumstances, and Lloyd looks absurd as Robin, which I’ll consider a plus.

The Negative:

Well, here’s a simple one: Batman and Sherlock Holmes are almost certainly two people who are the absolute least interested in posturing, so this battle probably mostly ended with them just shrugging and going home. Just saying.

Beyond that, though, I guess the major issue is not with the Batman voice (it’s bad, but it fits enough that you can kind of let it go), or with Lloyd’s weird Robin voice (which is… less fitting) so much as it is that most of this battle rap is either hypocritical, untrue, or going nowhere. Like… Batman has read Sherlock Holmes, all of Sherlock Holmes, and he has no business telling anyone they have no friends when he trusts absolutely nobody and treats his friends and family like shit. On the other hand, Sherlock Holmes is expected to have met Bruce Wayne… when, exactly, during this battle rap? Oh, also, Batman did fucking meet Sherlock Holmes, in the comics, like a long-ass time ago, and it’s all over the internet, so. Also also, Sherlock’s entire final battle rap? Batman entirely knows this, so it wouldn’t really be a diss so much as “correctly pointing out Batman’s MO, which he more or less cops to as a part of his origin story,” so… uh. Congratulations on summing up Batman’s origin story in a battle rap, I guess?

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