Egads, more classic rant! (Depending on your definition of the word “classic.”) Well, this was the beginning of the end for the E-mail rants… (Yes, a whole SECOND EMAIL LATER I was already tired of doing them. I have no idea how I got through college and a decade of video game writing either.) I was so overly consumed with context over content that I dumped in a whole pissload of extra shit no one cared about, like reviews and such, into the E-mail. (I’m… pretty sure that explanation is backwards.) Ultimately, I stopped doing them altogether, because I became so bored with doing all of this that I just gave up. Sadly, having read over my work, you didn’t miss much… again, the flow is extremely random, and the only real entertainment is in how many creative profanities I could sling together in five sentences. (My record is twenty). (You may be surprised to learn this, but I did not, in point of fact, actually keep track of that.)
However, this is one of my favorites, because of both the Xerox Bands rant, and the Green Acres Rant. (I am going into this entirely blind and commenting as I go, but while I remember both rants topically, I’m totally blind as to their content. In other words, don’t expect that “favorite” descriptor to hold up, especially not in a world where I’ve since written about multiple topics three or more times each.) Xerox bands was ultimately rather pointless, as my opinion of about half the bands mentioned changed six months later, but it was the concept that mattered at the time. (It’s also still relevant even now, even if the genre changed.) And Green Acres was one of my favorites because it was humorous, even without understanding the subject matter. (Well, I’ll let YOU be the judge of that, but… probably not.) I think both influenced the work I do today… at least, I hope so.
Also, my name has been changed to protect the guilty, namely, me. (I feel like it’s good to have an easily identifiable “brand” these days, if only because it’s memorable.)
And here we go!
Hello all, I’m Rantmaster Mark, and this is ‘Your Hot Cup of Rant’. (STOP FUCKING LAUGHING.)